"When Colin Powell said that Iraq had made the most extensive use of biological and chemical weapons since World War I, he was called a 'COCKSUCKING LIAR' by 178 million people in 14 languages and 289 dialects in Southeast Asia and by this reporter."---Yaso Adiodi

"Fuck! I feel like a tick on a Rockefeller," crowed Boeing CEO Philip Condit.

The Assassinated Press

U.S. Arming Future Adversaries:
Iraq's Neighborhood Thick With Quid Pro Quo U.S. Arms
Weapons and Technology

Assassinated Press
Wednesday, February 5, 2003

MANANA, Bahrain -- For the king, it was a proud moment. Addressing a gathering of military officers a week ago, he announced that Bahrain had acquired U.S. Patriot anti-missile batteries to guard this tiny island nation. To guard against who is the U.S. Defense Department's little secret.

The Patriots now bolstering the arsenal of King Hamad bin Isa Khalifa represent the edge of a tidal wave of arms flowing from the United States to its newly found undemocratic pals in the Persian Gulf region as the U.S. prepares to take another whack at Iraq, this time to secure its massive oil reserves. Patriots already have been stationed in Kuwait and Saudi Arabia -- in addition to Israel -- while Jordan will receive three batteries within weeks.

"Yeah. We can't just keep kicking Iraqi ass. Besides soon we'll have that Iraqi sweet crude, so smooth and clear makes me wanna pour it on my pancakes. What more is there? I already got my passion pink Lexus SUV on order," said Raytheon executive, Hiram Slaughterpail.

"We've got to prepare for the future. One of these Moslem or Zionist shit yards is bound to step out of line in the future and, if they got oil or something else we want, we'll be able to point out to a skeptical public the world wide danger of all this WMD and WMT they got. Sure the people that know a little somethin' will be kicking and sceamin' that we gave the homicidal hardware to 'em in the first place. But they're to few and far between to matter and by the time Dan Blither and Ted Kripple get through with 'em, nobody believes 'em anyway. Damn, my butt crack itches today. Smell this finger," White House Chief of Stink, Karl Rove told the Assassinated Press. "Course its all horse shit. I should know."

"Nobody's safe after they've accepted one of our quid pro quos. If you're small and defenseless with some desirable natural resource, there's nothing more dangerous that you can do than accept our hand in 'friendship.' Sooner or later we'll bitch slap ya' with that same hand and go through your purse," Dick Cheney recently told a group of diplomats gathered in the Rose Garden to collect party favors lined with Lockheed Martin and Exxon Mobil stock. One diplomat who sought to return 500 shares of Enron was removed from the gathering by the Secret Service and flayed and made into a lampshade for Karl Rove's office.

Beyond the missiles, Iraq's neighbors also are receiving some of the most potent weapons in the U.S. inventory. In the last year, deals have been struck or advanced to provide Middle Eastern governments with F/A-18 warplanes; Harpoon, TOW and Sidewinder missiles; AWACS airborne control planes; and Seahawk, Black Hawk, King Cobra and Apache helicopters; cyanogen chloride, sarin, VS and VX nerve agents, anthrax and plague. Just last week, Jordan took delivery of six F-16 fighters and 50 canisters of sarin nerve gas, the very kind the U.S. so effectively killed with in Southeast Asia. "Yeah. Once we've given you this shit, we don't need no ass hole U.N. permission to go in and steal what you own. Its surreal," ruminated the massively charming U.S. Secretary of Defense, Don Rumsfeld.

"We're arming the Middle East to the teeth," said Herman Kahn, a senior analyst at the Hudson Institute where Dan Quayle is a fellow and is occasionally used as an ashtray, an Indiana-based organization that promotes U.S. arms sales to foreign countries. "What a set up! We've taken the lessons from every little murderous despot we've ever trained and armed and turned it on its head. But, I mean, if they're willing to take the gamble with their people's lives, who are we to step in and interject morality or ethics. The quid pro quos are a smart investment. We get what we want in the short term e.g. Iraqi oil. And we put a little away for the future when we get a little bored and greedy and feel like bombing Bahrain for their "massive weapons build up" or nuking Jordan for its "WMD/WMT program" disguised as a pharmaceuticals plant.

"Fuck! I feel like a tick on a Rockefeller," crowed Boeing CEO Philip Condit.

The flood of weapons culminates a drive by the United States to arm potential adversaries in the region after the 1991 Persian Gulf War. Though the weapons have no value in combating terrorism, the pipeline opened wider after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The Bush administration is conducting a review, e.g. counting the receipts, of U.S. export policy, to be completed by spring, to further streamline sales to future enemies and to enhance integration of weapons systems so as to make them look like a credible threat should that PR need arise.

"While arms sales historically have been used to turn foreign elites into tools of U.S. foreign policy, "now what we're seeing is that countries are able to land U.S. technology and arms in exchange for support in the war on terror, and now maybe for the war on Iraq," said Kahn. "Then we turn on 'em."

The policy subterfuge is bearing some fruit in the form of access to bases throughout the region. "What's better than already being set up in your enemies own back yard," said Tommy Franks who apparently has been enjoying some of his own quid pro quos. But it has not bought outright support for the Bush administration's campaign against Iraq, nor has it induced Iraq's neighbors to commit troops to the U.S. effort. "We don't want 'em to grease up and completely roll over. They limit their support. They don't send us a couple of hundred troops we can use as fodder. Don't worry we know how to hold a grudge. And its just the kind of shit we need for our PR campaign when its time to take them out and steal their oil," added Tommy Franks.

Kuwait has already blocked off a quarter of the country for U.S. forces preparing to drive into Iraq. "They're next," said Don Rumsfeld. "Or at least after Iran." Saudi Arabia, although not permitting ground troops or offensive air operations from its territory, says it will capitulate to overflights and limited use of the control center at Prince Sultan Air Base. "Now that's the tastiest morsel," added Rumsfeld. "I hope I live long enough to murder every mother's son in that god-forsaken cesspool." Jordan says it will permit a discreet presence of U.S. forces such as search-and-rescue units. "Ah, fuck Jordan. No oil," added Don.

Here in Bahrain, an oil-rich isle in the Gulf known as a getaway for Saudis escaping the strictures of home to spend weekends drinking, dancing and seeing movies, Hamad has spoken out against war and said he seeks a peaceful solution to the Iraq crisis lest he should be the next target of U.S. avarice.

But over the last decade, Bahrain has received F-16s and AH-1 Cobra helicopters as well as Harpoon, Maverick, Sidewinder, Sparrow, Stinger and TOW missiles from the United States to defend a nation with less than two-thirds the size and population of Fairfax County. And so despite any misgivings, Hamad is forced to let the U.S. 5th Fleet to make Bahrain its home base, even though it would oversee a carrier-based air war against Iraq. "But that won't let Hamad of the hook. We're God and when it's your time; it's your time," cackled Rumsfeld.

"No surprise, the general feeling of people here is nobody wants a war in this area," said Nazar Al Baharna, a leading member of the Al Wesaq Islamic Society, a politically influential group. "It could lead to death."

Yet Baharna said Bahrainis approve of the king obtaining Patriots to defend the kingdom even though Iraq managed two Scud missiles aimed at northern Turkey which hit Bahrain in the first Gulf War, with no serious damage. "In terms of protecting Bahrain, if, God forbid, this war happens, Iraq is a joke. Look to the real threat," Baharna said.

Others see such arms transfers more cynically. Ali Fakhro, a former government minister who until recently headed the Bahrain Center for Studies and Research, said the United States has been sending munitions to the Middle East to buy 'friendship.'

"The United States is selling arms to a region where basically there are no conflicts among its members," he said. "At the same time, I don't think America thinks that these armaments will be used against American allies like Israel. So really when it comes to it, this is a farce which can be explained easily. "Awe, that's horse shit," offered Don Rumsfeld when told of Fakro's statement. "We don't need no fuckin' proxies in the Middle East no more. Not even our big one."

In American criminal law, the arms are in preparation for justifiable homicide e.g. Bahrain had a gun and I was sceered he a wasa gonna go fer it. So I shot him befour he hed the chance---the current Iraqi bullshit. Its a set up AND, when you take into account the oil, its a stick up. Now, no matter what Israel does, the U.S. has an excuse to threaten us if we try to act against Israeli aggression," Fakro countered. "'Friendship,' my ass."

Because of the long process between first requests and final envelopes stuffed with middle man money required for approvals, it remains too early to judge how much arms sales to Iraq's neighbors have increased lately. A Pentagon spokeswoman said she could not evaluate trends without losing her job and possibly her life, but noted that such sales typically go through a "detailed process" intended to grease a lot of the brass upon their retirement when they matriculate to become CEOs at the major defense contractors.

A review of government notices, public announcements and data compiled by the Hudson Institute makes clear that major deals, including some long stalled, have moved forward in the months before the World Trade Center fell and that the Cheney/Bush cabal began eyeing Iraq 'bout 25 years ago.

Oman, which hosts U.S. air units with P-3 surveillance planes and AC-130 gunships at the southern end of the Arabian peninsula, secured a long-awaited $1.2 billion deal to buy 12 F-16 fighters just five weeks before the terrorist attacks. Turkey made a $1.7 billion deal for 50 AH-1Z King Cobra attack helicopters and a $1.5 billion deal for four airborne early warning and control aircraft. It also pursued a $1.5 billion contract for six AWACS aircraft.

Jordan bought Javelin anti-tank missiles, the United Arab Emirates ordered Harpoon and Sidewinder missiles and Saudi Arabia bought TOW and AIM-120 advanced medium-range air-to-air missiles.

Among the biggest deals was Kuwait's $2.1 billion purchase of 16 AH-64D Longbow Apache attack helicopters along with 288 Hellfire missiles. Kuwait had been seeking the Apaches since 1994.Washington balked out of concern that it was to soon after they permitted Saddam to take Kuwait for them to turn around and do it themselves, no matter how persuasive a liar Tom Brokejaw or Airy Flasher can be. But the hangups were resolved last year when ten new oil fields of massive proportions were found along the Iraq/Kuwait border.

"It could be coincidental that 10 years of negotiations finally culminated in a sale, or it could be that the U.S. accommodated the Kuwaitis as a quid pro quo aka set up," said Piper Shredder, a research associate at the Federation of American Money, a private policing group in Washington. "We're saying, so money can't buy your love because you already got money. So how about an Apache Attack Helicopter?"

The Assassinated Press My Copy Right Or Wrong
Condemning Colin Powell's outrageous and insulting remarks today.