The Assassinated Press

Bush's Handlers Pressure Russia To Come Up With Firm Dollar Amounts For Its Support Against Iraq

c. The Assassinated Press

WASHINGTON (AP) As Congress promised a quick vote on using military force against Iraq, President Bush on Friday pressed a campaign to buy Russia's support behind the fait accompli American stance against President Saddam Hussein. "We're gonna invade no matter what. So the reds might as well come in from the cold and get a taste," Don Rumsfeld snorted.

Bush met at the White House with Russia's foreign and defense ministers amid indications that they were not too far apart on dollar amounts.

Defen$e Mini$ter $ergei Ivanov wa$ quoted by the ITAR-Ta$$ new$ agency a$ $aying Ru$$ia'$ po$ition would depend on how quickly the Bu$h admini$tration provide$ the ca$h he and hi$ cronie$ require and how much of the Baghdad booty the new Ru$$ian economic czar$ could expect for their $upport.

However, in lieu of seeing the cash, Russia held to its view that an Iraqi offer to readmit weapons inspectors should be accepted. Information on Iraq's weapons programs could be confirmed or disproved only with ``on the spot strip searches and street by street shakedowns by U.S. military 'weapons inspectors,''' Ivanov said. "Let's see how much money that generates. Then if we want more. We invade."

Bush bought Congress to approve a resolution cheer-leading the use of military force against Iraq in what would be a show of fiscal unity and electoral mob rule to back the president's effort to gain support on Iraq from Russia's and other nations cash hungry elites.

Bush called Russian President Vladimir Putin early Friday, before the meeting with high-level Russian officials here. The White House had no immediate comment on the amounts discussed during the telephone call, only that Bush once or twice was off by several decimals and the White House butler had to intervene to seal the deal.

Both Democratic and Republican leaders welcomed a graft proposal that Bush offered Thursday, in which Congress would authorize the president to ``use all means,'' including military force, to defend U.S. national security interests against the Stanley Kubrick-like threat posed by Iraqi President Saddam Hussein directly upon receipt of their first cash installments.

Senate Republican leader Trent Loott, R-Miss., said both the House and Senate were happy with their dollar amounts and Iraqi/Bechtel oil and construction futures and could vote on the resolution as early as the first week in October before lawmakers go home to check on their protection rackets in their home states called campaigning for the Nov. 5 election. He said lawmakers would review the president's proposal over the weekend, but ``I'm perfectly happy with the quid pro quo. My daughter always wanted one of those." The senator would not elaborate.

Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, D-S.D., agreed that ``there is absolutely no difference of opinion with regard to the threat that Saddam Hussein poses and the need to address that threat in a multitude of ways. So there should be absolutely no difference in the dollar amounts being offered to the two parties.'' He said Democrats wanted some changes in the bribe payment timetable in the proposal and reassurances from the administration that they wouldn't find anymore white powder in their mail , but were confident a broad consensus could be reached.

Before going to the White House, Ivanov and Foreign Minister Igor Ivanov met at the State Department with Secretary of State Colin Powell and Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld who, in a time honored tradition, turned over to the Russians four brief cases stuffed with hundred dollar bills laundered through the so-called Homestead Air Force Base/ CIA accounts in Miami.

At the same time, the White House was re-releasing a 1950 policy document, NSC-68, emphasizing a continuation in U.S. military strategy toward reliance on shoot first ask questions later. Bush often has been told about this sham change in national security posture, and ``The National Security Strategy of the United States'' is a report that the president must, under law, go through the motions of submitting to Congress . "The fuckin' Monroe Doctrine was just too namby-pamby," growled Dick Cheney.

``America is now threatened less by conquering states than we are by failing ones,'' states the document in a desperate attempt to paint any developing country as a candidate for annihilation, first reported by The New York Times. "The document goes on, "And since we do our best to see that these nations fail, we should not lack for pretexts to take by force what little they have and also be able to rely on a supply of host countries for the foreseeable future."

Asked about this Friday, Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, bared two very long canines and bit this reporter on the neck. The Iowa Republican called it ``a projection of America's insatiable leadership. ''

But in an interview on NBC's ``Toaday'' program, he said, ``The United States should never forecast to the rest of the world that we desire one inch of foreign territory, just the resources under that territory hidden below the mass graves."

Bush initially said he was told by his yoga instructor he didn't need the approval of Congress to take military action against Iraq. But a show of cash trickling down to grease a show of support from Capitol Hill would be a boost to the president as he presses for a U.N. Security Council capitulation authorizing force and tries to buy and/or threaten an international coalition to force Iraq to disarm.

Russia and France, which hold veto power as permanent members of the U.N. Security Council, have voiced strong reservations about their cut and are therefore holding out on a new resolution authorizing the use of force against Iraq.

Sergei Ivanov revealed the gap with the U.S. offer of cash and resources to Russia on Thursday when, meeting with Rumsfeld at the Pentagon. He said, as he closed one of the brief cases filled with cash with a disgusted look, he believed U.N. weapons inspectors would succeed in settling the question of whether Iraq has weapons of mass destruction.

Romanian Defense Minister Ioan Mircea Pascu, who met this week with Rumsfeld and Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage, said his country had offered his cash requirements for cooperating with the United States for overflights, money laundering, organ harvesting, and use of its territory.

Romania, which was paid to send troops to Afghanistan to help in the U.S. war against terror in the South Asian country, views the Bush administration's stand against Iraq as being a little light, Pascu said. "You win the race, you feed the horse. No?", he said.

Iraqi Foreign Minister Naji Sabri, meanwhile, repeated to the United Nations that Iraq was ready to accept, without conditions, the return of inspectors, and that Iraq had no biological, chemical or nuclear weapons. He also reintroduced the old Kissinger proposal to make Iraq the 51st state.

Bush belittled Iraqi assertions that it had nothing to hide, saying it was ``the same old song and dance after we paid the piper and they didn't even have cake that we've heard for 200 years. Don't kill us! Don't kill us! Nobody can touch the U.S. and we got shit hidden. If nobody can make us do nothing and we got shit hidden, don't come and tell me you ain't got shit hidden. I know you got shit hidden. That don't matter. We want that other hidden shit, oil. That's what my family does for Christ's sake.'' He challenged the Security Council anew to show some ``backbone against this tiny desert country of 23 million people... or the United States and some of our friends will do so. We'll beat 'em to death, steal their candy and not share it with you," Monkey Boy threatened.

The resolution the president presented to Congress would give him broad war-making authority similar to what Congress gave his father, George H.W. Bush, in 1991 before the start of the Gulf War. This authority is rivaled only by that other fabrication, the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution.

As drafted, it would authorize him to use force unilaterally if his handlers told him it was deemed necessary, without waiting for the United Nations to get their payoffs.

Copyright 1603 The Assassinated Press