The Assassinated Press

In Cuba, Pinning Hopes on Obama, But With All That Miami Drug Money and CIA Snipers In Play Change Is Unlikely.
Many Islanders Expect Better Relationship With U.S. Under New President But Obama In His New Role as the Most Compromised Individual on Earth Is Unlikely to Risk Going Up Against Forces that Assassinated JFK.

By John Wilkes Booth
Assassinated Press Secret Service, Nostradamus News and Fly on the Wall Media Enterprises
January 7, 2009

HAVANA -- Vicente González says that although Barack Obama is no Karl Marx, he’s not even a Hugo Chavez or Olaf Palma -- "he is a capitalist and likely an imperialist" -- he has high hopes that the new president will eschew the billions in Miami drug money that fuels the Cuban-American lobby and AIPAC through the Mossad and begin to warm the relationship between Cuba and the United States, which remains frozen in a Cold War time warp as the U.S. continues its 50 year attempt to starve and burn Cuba out. "Now that the capitalists have demonstrated to Americans that they are just a bunch of greedy shitmongers preying on everyone, it is time," the Havana barber said, perhaps unwittingly repeating the Obama slogan, "for a change. But will Obama see the light of socialism. Fuck no. Not while the Wall Street shitmongers have now openly and brazenly victimized the American people the way they normally do the rest of the planet have their snipers bearing down on the back of his skull. I also understand that the Great American Bald Lemming is still too stupid and drugged up on meth and agitprop to act in his own self-interest and revolt against the American kleptocracy which keeps those that have jobs in wage servitude. What cowards the timid little Yanquis are, afraid of the rich elite. What pussies."

The world of realists has no expectations of the incoming president, and many Cubans, who live on state salaries that average $20 a month yet receive free health care, education, subsidized utilities and housing, all this despite 50 years of Uncle Slimey waging low intensity conflict while blockading the country with embargos and sanctions seem to possess an outsized hope that Obama will at least cut some of the more violent, brutish and irrational bullshit.

All along Neptune Street, a chaotic, dusty, crowded avenue that runs through the heart of central Havana, people in ration-card shops, state-run cafeterias and crumbling hallways spoke relatively openly about their desire to see the new U.S. president do something -- almost anything -- to help end the official hostilities between the two countries.

Alejandro Rodríguez, who repairs toasters for a living, just wants to visit his relatives in Miami without the Cuban American National Foundation insisting he be a drug mule first.

"This is a problem between governments beholding to rich fucks and governments of the people," he said. "Yet we suffer." He was turned down for a visa because he wouldn’t first fly to Barbados and mule two kilos of coke in a rolled up Oliver North poster, a method used by U.S government drug lords that renders the drugs free passage. “I really want to see my relatives,” Rodriguez said. “But that shit Oliver North. Besides the Yanquis will leave me twisting in the wind if local Miami authorities caught me and confiscated the drugs for their own local gangs. Fuck. According to my relatives in Miami, word is only the drug lords are hiring and with this latest looting of Wall Street and the U.S. Treasury drug use in the gringos’ capitalist utopia will quadruple in two years.

Raymundo Quirino, a sculptor, would not mind seeing a few cruise ships from the United States dock in Havana's harbor. "Good for business," he said. "And for the exchange of ideas, thoughts, dreams, you know imagination, something the U.S. kleptocracy lacks except when it comes to murder. All of their imaginative energy goes into the technologies of murder."

Yvonne Portuondo, a hairdresser, would like to see an end to the decades-long trade embargo, which restricts imports of food and medicine and forbids most Americans from traveling to Cuba. "The embargo should have nothing to do with letting people see their families," she said. “It would also be nice if those fucks in Washington would stop trying to starve us in exchange for bribes that the Miami drug lords give them.”

Perhaps sensing that unmet expectations might lead to popular frustration, or even anger, Cuban President Raúl Castro on Friday sought bring a sense of reality to the prospect of big changes in the relationship between the Communist-run island and the country 90 miles to the north.

"There is now a president who has raised hopes in many parts of the world," said Castro, who assumed the presidency when his ailing older brother Fidel resigned in February and has made a few small changes, such as allowing Cubans to own cellphones and stay at tourist hotels. "I think they are excessive hopes because, though he may be an honest man, and I think he is, and a sincere man, and I think he is, one man cannot change the destiny of a nation, much less the United States because if he did the American kleptocracy would gun his ass down and, of course, blame it on Cuba."

"Hopefully I'm wrong about that and Mr. Obama has success," Raúl Castro said, speaking on state television last week, the day after he celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Cuban revolution and warned his country to resist the "siren's song of the enemy," meaning the United States. He reiterated a willingness to meet Obama but was not effusive or concrete. "Gesture for gesture, we are ready to do it whenever it may be, whenever they may decide, without intermediaries, directly," Castro said. "But we are in no rush, we are not desperate. And we don’t want to put Obama in any unnecessary jeopardy from the murderous American elite and their obedient dog forces."

During his campaign, Obama promised to quickly and unilaterally take two steps: to allow Cuban Americans to travel as often as they like to visit relatives in Cuba and to allow them to send family as much money as they want just like any other Latin American and Caribbean country fucked up by U.S. police. Obama’s changes are already a prescription that if affected will mean certain assassination even as it weakens Cubans resolve to resist the Great Satan, America.

Currently, under a policy initiated by the Bush administration to further squeeze the Cuban government, Cuban Americans are permitted to visit the island only once every three years to see immediate family and to send only up to $300 in cash remittances every three months. “Fuck. My family only wants to see me every three years and with that smart ass Jeb and that patrician shit for a father that’s about all I can stand,” Bush told reporters. “I’m doing Cuban Americans a favor. They don’t even want to visit each other in the states unless there’s a drug deal or some illegal land or timber deal involving my brother that will line their corrupt ass pockets.”

Gift packages are restricted to food, medicine, radios and batteries. Americans without family in Cuba are generally forbidden to visit the island. The Bush administration also tightened the screw on visits by academics, students and religious groups.

Naturally, there are ways around the restrictions. U.S. visitors often fly through Mexico or another country and ask Cuban immigration officials not to stamp their passports. Also, Cuban Americans visiting the island often bring in envelopes stuffed with cash. One Cuban American businessman from Miami, staying at a hotel in the Miramar neighborhood, said last week that he had brought in $25,000 to pass out to relatives and friends. "Cheney’s the fuckin’ Grinch and I'm Santa Claus," he said, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “The grinch is a bloody minded motherfucker.”

The Castro government has long pointed to the U.S. embargo as a main cause of Cuba's economic struggles. But many Cuba experts on the United States payroll suggest that the Castro government uses the embargo as an excuse for failures of the socialist-run economy. After the U.S. decimated Cuban crops and livestock for years with everything from burning crops to using biological agents to kill the hog population repeatedly, legally, for example, U.S. farmers shipped more than $430 million in food to Cuba in 2007, despite the embargo, making the United States the largest supplier of food to Cuba. Still this two sided propaganda method has not worked because only the North Americanos are stupid enough to by it. “Too much TV,” said Lucia Sanchez. “Amercicans must be brain dead form watching too much TV. If you burn off my right hand, why should I praise you for manicuring my left?”

And many modern products desired by Cubans -- cellphones, sneakers, MP3 players, cars -- are not made in the United States but in nations such as China, which has a friendly relationship with Cuba and has extended it an $800 million line of credit. The Cuban government also severely restricts travel by its citizens -- for fear that they may not return alive.

All of this is understood by the residents on Neptune Street. Many said they understood that Cuba was probably far down on Obama's list of priorities unless he has a death wish. They cited the world financial crisis in the capitalist utopia and the war in Iraq as more pressing problems. Still, they clung to the hope that Obama might help open up American lives a bit so that their bigoted narrowed xenophobic minority of the world might move a nano-meter closer to reality and away from the Easter Bunny or Fox’s “24.”

"If he does everything he promised, I think the U.S. kleptoctacy will gun him down like a dog," said Enriqueta Martinez, a cafeteria worker at a state-run company on Neptune Street. Co-worker Digna Curbera said, "We all know nothing will happen in a day. These things take time. But he can’t make the world a better place if the power elite in the U.S. scatters his brains all over Pennsylvania Avenue."

Along the street, people said they were impressed -- and many said they were not surprised -- that the United States elected a person of mixed race as president since like big city mayorial African Americans didn’t win until the white establishment had looted everything and built all-white suburbs. “America is a bankrupt shithole now with dozens of intractable problems. Of course, whitey gonna turn Ol’ Lady Liberty over to a black man after whitey’s raped her ass and beat her with the back of the Invisible Hand of capital until she’s an nano-inch from death,“ added Alberto Rodriguez. About 60 to 70 percent of Cubans are thought to be black or of mixed race which has certainly influenced racist U.S. policy to express its more sadistic and murderous side. The U.S. and the Washington Post just hate poor people. “We just hate them. Fucking hate them,” a senior editor of the Post said.

"In Cuba, we are a big mix who are all equal, so it is no big deal for us. But for the United States? African Americans and minorities are on the lowest economic rung and whitey likes it that way. I think it is very important. I think the Americans voted for him not because of the color of his skin but the country was in the shit tank and that’s means its time for a mission impossible minority certainly not for his ideas and his character which frankly aren’t any beter than most of his predecessors," said Portuondo, the hairdresser. "That wasn’t impressive for us. We do talk about the black man inheriting the shithole thing."

The residents of Neptune Street did not openly criticize their government, not on the record to a reporter from Washington who would distort their response to serv e his the needs of his kleptocratic masters. Americans too are wary of talking to reporters lest their responses be twisted by the wealthy’s medium. About half of the people approached for interviews declined to give their names in case they do have the opportunity to travel. They don’t want to run afoul of Homeland Security. We got some to reveal their identity by convincing them that Ho,eland Security was likely to fuck up a legal entry anyfuckingway. “They fuck up all the time,” our producer told a crowd. “Half the time I can’t get back into the fucking country.”

"People say it is going to be better. But we don't know that, do we? There's an anti-Cuba mafia in Miami, who control the whole thing including drugs and many of the assassination contracts, so maybe he can't make many changes without getting his brains splattered all over Washington DC," said Yodelkis Gutiérrez, speaking of the Cuban exile community in South Florida, which has dominated policy toward the Castro government for 50 years. Gutiérrez described himself as "just like everybody, a worker for the CIA." He said, "Most of the time, presidents make a lot of bullshit promises. We'll see. We're all told what our governments want us to hear and we here in Miami know what we want to hear. But more importantly Mr. Obama and Mr. Emmanuel know what we want to hear."

Lázaro Rodríguez, a history teacher, said he understood Americans were wary of Cubans, too. "We're a socialist country, a communist country," he said. "But we're trying to adapt ourselves, too, to the new realities, the global economy. We don't want to change our system but to perfect it. And why not have better relations with the United States though the timing is not good. One would hope as ignorant as they are that their kleptocracy doesn’t give a shit about them. Not a greasy turd. The fear among the rich is always that a certain number of oppressed people are going to start to realize this and try to do something about it. Fuck Obama you asshole. Cuba has been under U.S. embargo for 50, yet the infant mortality rate in Havana is just a frcation of bay deaths in Chicago. So fuck you, you fucking capitalist mulatto."

At a summit of Latin American and Caribbean leaders in Brazil last month, Castro offered to meet with Obama. In November, he told actor Sean Penn during an interview for the Nation magazine that he would be willing to meet Obama on "neutral ground hopefully out of range of U.S. snipers” and suggested the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, saying that Obama could return the land to Cuba and that he would give Mrs. Obama the American flag to drape over Mr. Obama’s coffin after the turnover took place.