"To wage by force or guile eternal war."
---the tattoo burned into the ass of initiates at
The Project For The New American Century

The Assassinated Press

48 Hours: When's the Car Chase?
Bush Lies To A Grateful Nation:
The Future of Two Countries Now Lies In A Vast Pool Of Oil And Blood.

The Assassinated Press
03/17/2003 11:00:00 PM

I DIDN'T THINK the president was at his best tonight but who gives a fuck what one wealthy neo-con like myself might confide to another in the comfort of his personal sauna sated with the vapors of a $1400 wine. His reading was not smooth but at least people now are aware that he has learned to read. I'm sure that many French, British, and high-toned American fourth graders will have their opinion confirmed that George W. Bush simply hasn't had enough phonics and ridilin and that he picks at his ass too much when he talks and that these qualities make him look ridiculous as the poster boy for a war for oil.

But I contend that not all murderers are smart, a contention backed up by the willingness of our Supreme Court to permit the execution of the retarded.

But Bush will never wake up one morning poor, black and mentally challenged. Just mentally challenged, so by my standards he makes an ideal president.

That's why his speech was simple, unremarkable, and direct. He can't handle any more than that. It seemed more Karen Hughes, I'm guessing, than Mike Gerson. And that is appropriate. Because, though both Hughes and Gerson are ethically and mentally challenged, Hughes gives Bush a hand job before he delivers one of her speeches and this calms the faux President down though it also tends to make him sleepy.

America is going to war in a moment of high passion. With $36 trillion dollars worth of oil just sitting there, who wouldn't get excited? We just gotta crawl over the bodies of 30 or 40 thousand Iraqis to get it. More's the fun. We're going to war after a long series of administration lies and in a moment of all consuming greed and blinding avarice fueled in part by the current recession. President Bush and the majority of the American people have had it decided for them that the advantages for the wealthy few like me in going to war to liberate Saddam Hussein's oil only fueled our desire to see blood spilled in the process.

Here is what Bush's speech signifies: The lies will prevail. Over the past 12 years, and especially since September 11, we have had a long argument over how much WMD business to do with Saddam--and with the regime. We just couldn't make enough cash off of Saddam after the first Gulf War. Those lies and illegal sales had run their course. The past few weeks have been like the fifth day of a family reunion that was about to turn ugly. One family member, Uncle Sam, who was prone to violence anyway had already made it clear that cousin Iraq better give up his wallet or there was gunna to be gunplay. Uncle Sam had already gathered his thug sons on the viranda to kuwait. Everybody was nervous figurin' they might be next. Uncle Sam argued the lies of someone whose already decided on murder anyway as he got his boys in place.

Looking back, the outcome of the lies has been unremarkable. President Bush's handlers were incredibly successful at propagandizing the American people and incredibly unsuccessful at propagandizing people in most other countries especially the ones that have in recent history felt the U.S.'s jack boot. Domestically, the president enjoys nearly two-thirds support of people no more intelligent and informed than he is, what Karl Rove calls the 'Moron Factor.' That's what you would expect. Abroad, majorities regard Bush as a greater threat to peace than Saddam. That's common sense and quite in line with history's actuarials.

The newspapers are now filled with dissections of the Bush administration's propaganda failures. Nobody writes stories about the administration's incredible domestic propaganda accomplishment--bringing the American people around to support the war--because there is nothing incredible about it. Americans are grateful they are being lied to. And Americans ARE stupid and they work very hard at it. Stop one and ask him or her some of the even most rudimentary questions about the current situation and you'll either laugh or cry depending on how you feel about people so ignorant consenting to have this ongoing litany of slaughter carried out in there name. And then there's the delusion. Putting down beef subtracts more from the world dialectic than the annual raft of American coronaries and car crash victims.

The press doesn't stress the fait accompli of lies and ignorance because they are already whores to administration perfidy. It would never occur to most editors to assign such a story because they know what ignorant toadies the American population is and how cynical and dismissive neo-con commentators are toward them. They attend the same cocktail parties and share the same cynicism.

Why were Bush's handlers so good at propagandizing Americans and so bad at propagandizing everybody else? There are now books on the subject, but the shortest answer is that someone, not Iraqis, blew up the World Trade Center but that the administration, taking a page from Goebbels and another from Bernays, repeated the Big Lie that Saddam Hussein was involved. So ignorant and infantile is the American public two-thirds still believe that Iraq was involved. Americans are in a mood to hear Bush's arguments. Lacking intelligence, they ARE a moody bunch. People in most other countries are still living in a world of facts. Whatever lies and high crimes the Bush diplomatic team may or may not have committed, the French, Russians, and Germans are simply not going to let it slide because of self-interest among their elites. The European people are not going to let it slide because they know lying, murderous dog filth when it parades itself before the U.N. or exudes from the Oval Office.

A U.N. resolution endorsing force was never going to be there because the truth was never there e.g. Dick Cheney and his cabal are after the oil. If the oil card had been on the table, a resolution for war would have been very attractive to SUV lovin' Americans and the old colonial arguments coming out of think tanks like the PNAC could have served as a cultural patina of justification. It was a grave error on the part of the Bush administration to assume that a majority of Americans and the developed world's people would have been unwilling to go to war for oil. After all, another big lie that has been swallowed like donkey dick at the Bohemian Grove is the presumed balance between economic and political stability, a promise that is a reassuring chimera in the developed world in direct proportion to the very real devastation it wrecks upon the non-developed world.

"We get that Iraqi oil and all things are possible. Oilless France and Germany will tow the line. We'll possess the second largest oil reserve in the world and with it we can break the back of OPEC, topple Chavez, the Saudi royal family whoever, and price Russia out of world markets keeping it a third rate power until the 22 century," Cheney recently said at the weekly luncheon of the Congressional Republican leadership. "Throw in the Caspian sea oil and gas and the pipelines especailly through Afghanistan and the American people will be standing in line to kiss our asses before we wipe. We can pretend to rebuild Afghanistan on raw opium profits alone. The CIA has done a marvelous job. They've undone the Taliban's devastation and made Afghanistan the number one raw opium/heroin producing region again in little more than a year."

The Republican leadership began shouting and punching the air with their fists, "We're number one!!! We're number One!!!"

So now we stand in an epochal "world of shit." The lies will prevail at any cost. The case has gone to the jury, and if the jury had any rope the entire current administration would be hanging from lampposts. Events will soon reveal that right surely doesn't make might nor vice versa. The best thing to do today is to review your stock portfolio and get on the right side of the thugs.

The future of the United Nations is at stake. Who fuckin' needs the aggravation? The future of the trans-Atlantic alliance is at stake. There is the new criminal class in Eastern Europe to double-cross. The career of front man, George W. Bush, is at stake, along with the anthrax threatened lives of many Democrats.

But there are two nations whose natural resources hang in the balance. The first, of course, is Iraq. Will Iraqis give up the oil in exchange for our Haitian or Nicaraguan-like tutelage? No more free health care. No more free education. In fact, no health care or education at all. No food either. Its a sucker's bet. We'll get 'em to give it up.

The second is the United States. If the effort to oust Saddam fails, we will be back in the 1970s murdering thousands in Chile or supporting Indonesia's invasion of East Timor. In other words back to the days of supporting proxy killers when its so much more satisfying to the pocket books of the military-industrial complex to send our own semi-robotic fodder in to do the slaughter.

We will live in a nation crippled by the inability to say I garroted those children with my own hands. Do I still have what it takes to murder hundreds of thousands---or am I too racked with self-doubt? (Of course, the likes of David Brooks won't ever have to learn which orifice to stick a rifle in to blow out his brains.) If we succeed, we will be a nation infused with oil. We will have done a great thing for America's rich, and they will await other great things from their serfs.

David Brooks' delusions helped enormously with this article.

my copy right or wrong The Assassinated Press