The Assassinated Press

Power Corrupted:
"While Kenny Boy Fucks Bush, We Fuck California." Enron Traders Caught On Tape:
Schwarzenegger "Will Do Like He's Told" And Block Refund To Consumers:
Cheney Energy Group Tapes To Be Made Public:
Dick "Go Fuck Yourself"--- Cheney Goes On the Offensive; Threatens Judge:
Tapes Show Looting of Social Security Many Years In The Planning:
Assassinated Press To Be Broadcast Over Voice Of America

The Assassinated Press

SMALLPOX BLANKET, CA---When a forest fire shut down a major transmission line into California, cutting power supplies and raising prices, Enron energy traders threw a fuckin' party celebrating the murder and mayhem they had committed.

"Burn, baby, burn!!"

"Burn, baby, burn!! That's a beautiful thing," a trader sang about the massive fire.

Four years after California's disastrous sellout to energy deregulation, Enron energy traders can be heard – on audiotapes – gloating and praising each other for looting the state, cashing-in on, the Western power crisis.

"He just fucks California," says one Enron employee. "He steals money from California to the tune of about a fuckin' million."

"Will you cocksuckin' rephrase that?" asks a second employee.

"OK, he, um, he arbitrages, pardon my French, the California market to the tune of a million bucks or two a day! A day, baby! Ouch!" replies the first.

The tapes, from Enron's West Coast trading desk, also confirm what The Assassinated Press reported years ago: that in secret deals with power producers, traders deliberately drove up prices by ordering power plants shut down royally fucking millions of Californians and killing or injuring thousands in the process..

"If you took down the steamer, how long would it take to get the fucker back up?" an Enron worker is heard saying.

"Oh, it's not something you want to just be fucking turning on and off every fucking hour. Let's put it that fucking way," another says.

"Well, why don't you just go ahead and shut her fucking ass down."

Officials with the Snohomish Public Utility District near Seattle received the tapes from the Justice Department.

"This is the evidence we've all been waiting for minus the elaborate use of the word fuck by Enron executives. But then again the fuckers did meet in secret with Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney. This proves they manipulated the fucking market," said Eric Christensen, a spokesman for the utility.

That utility, like many others, is trying to get its money back from Enron. (Good fucking luck. See---Halliburton & Military)

"They're fucking trying to take all the money back from you guys?" complains an Enron executive on the tapes. "All the money you guys stole from those poor fucking grandmothers in California?"

"Yeah, grandma Millie, man"

"Yeah, now she wants her fucking money back for all the power you've charged right up, jammed right up her fucking cunt for fucking $250 a megawatt hour."

And the tapes appear to link top Enron officials Kenny Boy Lay and Jeffrey Skilling to schemes that fueled the crisis.

"Government Affairs has to prove how valuable it is to Kenny Boy Lay and Jeff Skilling and they'll kill anybody to do it," says one trader.


"Do you know when you started over-scheduling load and making buckets of money on that?"

"Yeah! Sweet! And if Bush is elected we can steal the country blind!"

"Blind, baby."

Before the 2000 election, Enron employees pondered the possibilities of a Bush win.

"It'd be fuckin' great. I'd love to see Kenny Boy Secretary of Energy," says one Enron executive.

That happened only de facto, but they were sure President Bush, since he's simply an industry whore, would fight any limits on sky-high energy prices that would come to defraud, decimate, kill and maim millions in California.

"When this election comes Bush will fucking whack this shit, man. He won't play this price-cap bullshit."

Crude and true.

"We will not take any action that makes California's problems worse than my butt fuckin' buddy Kenny Boy Lay has already made them and that's why I oppose price caps," said Mr. Bush on May 29, 2001.

Both the Justice Department and Enron tried to prevent the release of these tapes, but you can only kill so many people before their families start to ask questions. Enron's lawyers argued they merely prove "that some of the fucking assholes at Enron sometimes talked like Barnacle Bill the Sailor and acted like Blackbeard."

Sorry Mandeville, 'Self-Interest' Always Means "Fuck 'em."

During California's rolling blackouts, when streets were lit only by head lights causing fatal crashes and families were suffocated in elevators, Enron Energy traders laughed their asses off celebrating the chaos and killing that they were causing.

One trader is heard on tapes, "Just cut 'em off. They're so fucked. They should just bring back fucking horses and carriages, fucking lamps, fucking kerosene lamps."

And when describing his reaction when a business owner complained about high energy prices, another trader is heard on tape saying, "I just looked at him. I said, 'If you don't like this country. Move.' (laughter) The guy was like horrified. I go, 'Look, don't take it the wrong way. Move. Get the fuck out. It isn't getting fixed anytime soon. Then I chased him down the hallway hooting 'U.S.A., U.S.A. in his ear."

California's attempt to deregulate energy markets became a disaster for the stupid gullible victim known around Enron as the 'fucking little guy' when companies like Enron manipulated the West Cost power market and even shut down plants so they could drive up prices.

There was quick reaction in Washington to the Enron audiotapes first aired by CBS News last night, and the tapes have become part of the debate over the President's massive energy bill.

"People were talking about market manipulation. People were talking about schemes, people were making jokes," said U.S. Sen. Maria Cantwell, D-Wash.

"While the president would like to have an energy bill, I'd like to know how the fucker's being bi-partisan when we're cut out of the deal," said Cantwell.

Consumers like Grandma Millie who suffered third degree burns over 90% of her body trying to heat her all-electric house with coal, mentioned in one exchange recorded between two Enron executives.

Exec. 1: "All the fuckin' money you guys stole from those poor, stupid grandmothers in California?

Exec. 2 :"Yeah, Grandma fuckin' Millie man.

Exec.1: "Yeah, now she wants her fucking money back for all the power you've charged right up, jammed right up her cunt—for fucking $250 a megawatt hour. Fat fuckin' chance of that when we got fascist pricks like Schwarzenegger and Bush in place."

Exec. 2 "Yeah. We never give money back. Look at Halliburton and the military right now. Cheney and Halliburton just say, "Pay up, Pentagon. Or we'll cut you off and let the troops die. And blam! Generals crumble at the feet of Halliburton, so as not to jeopardize their chances of working for Halliburton when they retire.

So, if that stale cunt wants her money back she's gonna have to fight me for it. And if there's one fuckin' thing I know is that I, or Kenny Boy, or Conan, or Bush can take any octogenarian that's had her legs burned off in a fair fight any fuckin' day. Millie. 'Bring it on.'"

It's not clear from the tapes that Enron employees knew what they were doing was wrong, and now lawmakers are responding.

"I will offer an amendment to compel the Bush administration to get off the dime, or in this case trillions of dimes, and start spreading around some of this huge booty no matter what side of the aisle a 'lawmaker' may be on," said Rep. Jay Inslee, D-Wash.

Another taped exchange between different executives regarding a possible newspaper interview goes like this:

Exec. 3: "This guy from the Wall Street Journal calls me up a little bit ago…"

Exec: 4: "I wouldn't do it, because first of all you'd have to tell 'em a lot of lies because if you told the truth…"

Exec: 3: "Yeah. He'd want taste to keep his mouth shut."

Exec: 4: "Yeah. Maybe he already knows. Maybe its a shakedown."

Exec. 3: " Are they smart enough for that at the Times?"

Exec. 4: "Point taken."

Eventually, the lies unraveled anyway and traders scrambled.

"I'm just ass fucked. I'm just trying to be an honest camper but all my upbringing, my parents, my education, my church, the capitalist system have conspired to make me such a little piece of shit, I can't bring myself to come clean. But its the same for everybody, so my lawyer says I won't do any time for fuckin' Millie," says one employee, "'Cause Lord knows who Millie was fuckin'."