The Assassinated Press

Corporations, Republicans Introduce Plan to De-Socialize Health Care, Eliminate Medicare, Prescription Drug Plan and Federal Health Care For Military.

The Assassinated Press

The effort to create a non-communist health care bill has taken another intriguing turn: A group of House Republicans and their handlers in the private health care industry have created their own health care bill.

The bill is simple and straightforward. It would eliminate all federal moneys for Medicare, Medicaid and health care for those serving in the military. Further, there would be absolutely no provision providing health care for the 47 million American slackers who currently are not covered. "As Frederick Jackson Turner said, America was born out of the western frontier, and this bill would return U.S. health care back to the 1820's where it belongs," said one of the bill's corporate sponsors, Kaiser Permanente CEO, George Halvorson.

It, however, would increase health care funding for the unborn by giving any organization involved in anti-abortion activity and so-called chastity movements billions in additional funding by allowing private health care providers to stage such activities as part of their private health initiatives.

CBS News reports that GOP Rep. Tom Price and the Republican Study Committee (RSC), after receiving an additional $6 million in campaign contributions from the nation's largest health care providers, is set to unveil its new health care package called the “Curtain Call.”

But here’s the thing: Neither GOP House leader John Boehner (prounced bo-ner) nor Roy ‘Chubby’ Blunt, the head of the House GOP Health Care Dissolutions Group, which did not receive any of the recent corporate donated funds, had any role in creating it, RSC spokesman Brendan Buck confirms. Bohner (pronounced beau-nir) when pressed said, “I don’t work for nothing. That’s what defines a whore. If I worked for nothing, I wouldn’t be a whore would I?”

Boehner and Blunt have been promising a bill for some time. Boehner recently said the GOP was putting the “final touches” on a bill, though he didn’t say whether it would be released. "We might pass it by 'secret ballot'" he said. Blunt recently seemed to suggest that the GOP had decided against creating a bill, but then clarified that there could very well be one soon.

But now they have been co-opted. The Corporate/Republican bill would virtually take the federal government out of all health care and health care related activity. It would eliminate Medicare, Medicaid and strike all health benefits for all members of the armed services. It would turn over the operation of all VA hospitals to the private sector and all injured servicemen would be responsible for paying for their own recovery and therapy out of pocket or through privately administered plans.

Some in the private health care junta have problems with the plan. "I'm not sure about dropping health care for the military," Kaiser Permanente CEO, George Halvorson said. "On the one hand providing health insurance to the military is an enticement to get the poor uneducated, otherwise unemployable slob the corporate culture has created to join our Christian conquering forces. On the other hand not having any safety net keeps you lean and mean. At least I've heard."

Further, all Medicare and Medicaid payments would immediately cease obviating the need for citizen concern over the ‘living will’ provisions in the Obama health care package because few would remain alive long enough to execute them—e.g. a ‘living will.’

Service personnel would be expected to pay for their own and their families medical care out of pocket. There is one exemption called the ‘lamb of Christ’ or George Lincoln Rockwell clause which allows for monthly federal subsidies for all families that produce six or more white Christian off spring. However, the bill would not cover the costs of DNA certification that would be required to qualify for the program.

Buck, the RSC spokesman, said the RSC had always intended to introduce a separate bill. “We’ve always imagined we’d put out our own,” he said. “We’re hoping for a kinder gentler eugenics, a fiscal genocide where poor minorities and their unsuccessful white counterparts slowly die out from lack of care or frankly from being denied care on those most traditionally American and Christian of grounds—they can’t pay.”

“After a generation or two, the country should return to a majority white Christian nation and be firmly in the hands of such geniuses as Michele Bachman, Eric Prince, Glenn Beck, Lou Dobbs, George Bush, Dan Quayle, Douglas Feith, Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin,” he added.