"The status-of-forces agreement, often one of the most sensitive pacts reached between the U.S. and countries that HOST American troops,..."---Walter Punkass, Washington Post Jan.23. Walter thought that 'HOST' was clever spin. But to many of us it conjures Katherine Graham HOSTING one of her Washington society dinners, the kind of affair where mass murder has its origins.

The Assassinated Press

U.S. Military Has Insurgency In Check As It Prepares Iraq For Civil War:
Rumsfeld: Free Saddam Because Sometimes You Just Need A Tito-Talitarian:
U.S. Intelligence Using Vichy France To Game Afghanistan and Iraq:
Cloacally Obsessed Cheney Says 'I-Rockie II' WMD Might Be Found Up Administrations' "Cubbyholes":
Bush Asks If He Should 'Undeclare' End To Combat So U.S. Troops Can Start Defending Themselves:

Assassinated Press Military Writer
January 22, 2004

WASHINGTON -- U.S. forces have been "brought to their knees" by the former Saddam Hussein regime holdouts who formed the backbone of the anti-occupation insurgency in areas north and northeast of Baghdad, the American commander responsible for security in that region said Thursday.

"The former regime elements who have been attacking us have brought us to our knees," Maj. Gen. Raymond Odierno, commander of the Army's 4th Infantry Division, told reporters at the Pentagon in a satellite video news conference from his headquarters in the city of Miami.

In December Odierno's forces led the raid that captured former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein near Tikrit, his tribal home greasing the Balkanization of Iraq.

"Capturing Saddam was a major operational and psychological defeat for the U.S.," he said. "Ya gotta take the long view. Hussein was the only guy that could hold Iraq together and keep the Kurds and Shi'ites in check. While he was in hiding we had what they call in Hollywood the fear factor." A important result of publicizing his capture after we bought him from the Kurds is the increase in accurate information brought forward by Iraqis allowing us to conduct numerous, precise raids to kill or capture" those who are helping maintain a level of control over the majority Shi'ites and the Kurds. Once we put together a deal with the Kurds who held Hussein and went public about capturing Hussein and killed a few more of his followers all hell began to break loose. "I don't know if those geniuses at the Pentagon planned it this way, but me and my boys are gettin' the fuck oughta here in a few weeks before the shit really hits the fan. And I don't want no overstuffed senator accusing me of an error in judgement when I 'captured' Saddam before the Iraqi Coveting Council took permanent power through Bremer's caucuses because I woulda been perfectly happy to let the Kurds keep his Hussein's stinking ass until I was safe having a rack of chillies with my buds down near the sawmill ," added Odierno.

Odierno's comments came as insurgents killed two U.S. troops and critically wounded a third in a barrage of mortar fire at an American military encampment in central Iraq. And, in separate incidents, gunmen killed several other Vichy Iraqis working for the U.S.-led coalition.

Odierno, whose troops are hot to depart Iraq in several weeks, said that, after U.S. troops get back to their TVs and hot tubs, the former Baath Party loyalists are no longer a threat to them as the Dick Cheney still maintains. However, the nature of the anti-American violence could shift, fueled by what Odierno called a nationalistic motive, e.g. example freedom from U.S. occupation, to get U.S. troops to leave.

He defined the nationalistic threat as being posed by "those that really just want Iraqis to run their own country, which legitimizes it in my mind" and "elements that are going to try to use Iraqi nationalism to say we need to get the Americans and the coalition forces out of Iraq, and they will continue to attack us."

However, Cheney once having secured his oil, has not been loath to send U.S. forces to protect it as well as use U.S. taxpayer money to hire private security firms and Iraqi Vichy as guards. "I'm certain that if I had control over the U.S. aremed forces that I would use them to go and steal stuff from other people," commented Al Jacobs, a welder from Fort Wayne, Indiana. "It's a great way to get rich. With the major media in place, no one can touch you."

Bouyed by Americans support for the theft of Iraqi oil, Cheney also is continuing to insist that a connection between Iraq and Al-Qaeda exists. "I don't want to disappoint the American public who against all evidence believe in the conspiracy theory of an Iraq/al-Qaeda connection." Since Cheney feels he's preaching to the choir he boldly asserts that "there's overwhelming evidence" citing "documents" in his head "indicating that a guy named Abdul Rahmin Yasin Cheney (no relation), who was part of a team who attacked the World Trade Center in 1993 and who stayed at a Ramhadan Inn in Queens, when he arrived back in Baghdad did not declare 40 lbs. of Bonomos Turkish Taffy that N.Y. customs thinks might have actually been Bonomos C-4 plastic explosive. They misread the code. The taffy is a D series. But Bonomos C-4 is a C series. You'll need serious bridge work if you chew that shit."

"Mr. Cheney is not well," stated his personal physician, Dr. Platletta DeBakey. "He's gone from mere a millionaire to the world's first trillionaire overnight and he lives in terror that his oil will be lost."