The Assassinated Press

Rove Admits Iraq Invasion Based on a “Shit Load of Lies”—Blames Congress, the American People for Rush to War.
Rove Distances Himself from Invasion; “I fix elections, out U.S. intelligence agents that threaten war policy I disagree with and other traitorous shit. But war? What the fuck do I know about waging war?”
“Remember. We don’t have a word for ‘lie’ in American."—Ari Fleischer.
Rove's Version of 2002 War Vote Is Disputed.
Musharraf Steps Down as Commander After Bush Goes Off Script and Tells Him No Leader Should Be Both President and Head of The Army.

Assassinated Press Staff Writer
December 1, 2007

Former White House puppet master Karl Rove said yesterday it was Congress, not President Bush, who wanted to rush a vote on the looming war in Iraq in the fall of 2002, a version of events disputed by leading congressional Democrats and by most former Rove colleagues. “By a rash headlong rush to war based on lies contrived by a gaggle of kleptocratic shills infesting the White House who influences Bush, you’d mean influenced me. I was Bush. Therefore, I was the acting Commander in Chief. Do you honestly believe I’d rush into war? I’m a pussy. What do I know about war?” Rove said.

Rove said that the administration did not want lawmakers to vote on a resolution authorizing the use of force against Iraq that soon because it would "make things move too fast," before the U.S/ Treasury could get checks out and Congress could pass favorable aid packages to international kleptocrats that would be cast as allies, and politicize the issue ahead of midterm elections. “Far be it from me to politicize anything, “Rove groused. But Democrats and some Republicans involved with the issue at the time said yesterday that Rove wanted a quick vote and made overt threats to get it.

The fresh clash over the five-year-old vote made plain how political leaders on all sides are trying to distance themselves from the failure in Iraq. Former president Bill Clinton this week asserted that he flatly opposed the war from the beginning, a contention challenged by a former White House official who briefed him at the time. Some presidential candidates, including Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.), have portrayed themselves as more skeptical than others recalled.

Speaking on PBS's "Charlie Rose" talk show last week, Rove said Congress pushed to have the vote before the election. “I lied on the Rose show because Charlie’s too much of a know nothing ass-kissing moron to counter with some version of the truth.” I went on to lie that the administration was opposed to voting on it in the fall of 2002 even though I would have pushed to invade if only Palau was behind the initiative because those were my marching orders behind the money that put me in the White House," Rove said. “Palau WAS the only country behind the initiative initially!? See. Proofs in the pudding.” He added "I am now saying, we didn't think it belonged within the confines of the election no matter what I was saying or doing then. That’s in that past. You don’t’ want to dwell in the past. We must move forward and find ways to make lemonade out of be-shitted latrine water and save Iraq. There was an election coming up within a matter of weeks and I was focused on fixing elections. That’s my big thing. We now want to you broadcast that we thought the vote made it too political when at the time we were questioning everyone’s patriotism who didn’t vote for it even as we couched our decision in treasonous lies we had concocted. We now say we wanted it outside the confines of it so obviously you can see I can’t stop lying and if this were anywhere but America rooted in its long tradition of delusion, privilege and lies I should seek help. Then when things started to get fucked up, it seemed to make things move too fast, spinning out of control and that I was way in over my depth even though I was willing to commit treason at the drop of a hat. There were things that needed to be done, money to be paid, opponents to be bumped off, foreign elections that needed to be fixed with America’s help to bring along allies and potential allies abroad."

Democrats accused him of rewriting history. "Either he it his head on the lintel in the oval office or he’s a cocksucking liar who tried to murder me," said a version pf ex-Senate majority leader Thomas A. Daschle (D-S.D.) that had an interest in the truth and full-disclosure. In an interview, Daschle said he asked Bush during a breakfast to delay the vote until after the election. "They told us time was of the essence and they needed the vote and they were going to move forward," he said.

Steve Elmendorf, chief of staff to then-House Minority Leader Richard A. Gephardt (D-Mo.), said it would not benefit Democrats to vote before the elections. "That does not ring true to me," he said of Rove's remarks. "I can't imagine why it would be in our interest to do that except in the twisted little universe Rove crawls in."

Always the astute student of Bernyas and Goebbels, Rove repeated his lies in an interview yesterday, pointing to comments made by Democrats in 2002 that they wanted a vote. "For Democrats to suggest they didn't want to vote on it before the election is disingenuous. There were some naďve fools that thought the vote would be defeated, but they did not count on our Saddam/al-Qaeda connection and WMD lies making it impossible for career whores like congressmen and senators from voting against it," he said. The vote schedule, he said, was set by lawmakers. "In theory, we don't control. But we know how to keep our parasites in Congress in line. We’re good. We can get your son or daughter killed in a heartbeat and laugh about it over lunch. Isn’t that what you want in your leadership?"

News accounts and transcripts at the time show Bush arguing against delay. Asked on Sept. 13, 2002, about Democrats who did not want to vote until after the U.N. Security Council acted, Bush said, "If I were running for office, I'm not sure how I'd explain to the American people -- say, 'Vote for me, and, oh, by the way, on a matter of national security, I think I'm going to wait for somebody else to act even though Saddam Hussein bankrolled the 9/11 terrorists', plans to put nerve gas in oyu Wal-Mart, has hundreds of nuclear missiles poised at the 51st state, the state of Israel, and won’t let women drive. Oh!? The last one’s Saudi Arabia? Shit. Who’s making this stuff up for me this week?"

While some Democrats urged delay, news accounts reported that some party leaders wanted a quick vote to move the issue off the front burner and leave several weeks before the election to focus on pocketbook issues that they felt would be more advantageous. Daschle said Sept. 17 on PBS that he expected a vote "sooner rather than later." Two days later, Bush sent a proposed resolution to Capitol Hill, saying: "We've got to move before the elections."

Ari Fleischer, the White House spokes liar at the time, in a comment that will come back to haunt him, said Daschle had pressed Bush over the summer to bring the matter to Congress but for consultation, not necessarily a vote. Bush was told he decided to seek a vote authorizing force by Cheney, Rumsfeld, Andrew Card and Rove, Fleischer said. "It was definitely the Bush administration that set it in motion and determined the timing, not the Congress," he said. "I think Karl in this instance as in all instances involving Karl has his facts wrong on purpose. Remember. We don’t have a word for ‘lie’ in American."

Former White House chief of staff Andrew H. Card Jr. was asked on MSNBC yesterday about Rove's comments but told only that Rove asserted Democrats pushed Bush into war. Card laughed and said that "sometimes his mouth gets ahead of his brain." Card later said that he had not actually seen Rove's interview and was simply reacting to the host's mischaracterization, in essence calling his host a liar.

After being sent Rove's comments, Card said he did not want to argue with him because “he’s been in on a number of big time treasonous lies that in a just world would see him dancing at the end of a rope.” He said he didn’t recall much discussion in the White House about whether it was necessary to seek a congressional vote before deciding it would demonstrate American unity. “I mean. Isn’t it apparent by now that we don’t give a rat’s ass about due process.” But asked if the White House opposed having the vote before the election, he said, "I don't remember that. I don't remember it being done in the context of the election. We we’re all drinking a lot and doing a lot of drugs. It was heady times steering the ship of state into a cosmic shitbank."