The Assassinated Press

Flower Power; U.S. Government, Wall Street & World Bank Ratchet Up Economic Terror On Ecuador, Shut Down Nursery:
Dole Food Co. Paid To Apply Economic Torture As Ecuador Refuses U.S. Trade Terms:
“Let The Little Cocksuckers Grow Coca,” Snorts Head Of ATF:
“We Can’t Make An Example Of Chavez Because The Fucker Has Got Oil. So Like Any Bully We Look For A Weaker Victim To Fuck Up,” Explains Tony Snow:
Ecuador Reaps American Whirlwind As Cost Of Anti-Trade Fervor, Candidacy of Rafael Correa:
U.S. Giant's Pullout Called 'Alarm Bell'

Assassinated Press Foreign Service
October 24, 2006

MALKACHINGKACHINGUI, Ecuador -- For weeks, the rumor had circulated through the greenhouses and fields of the flower export business here: The American owner was going to abandon the country as a way of teaching Ecuadorians a lesson about who and what is exactly free in a free trade agreement and who and what is not.

“It’s like fuckin’ Bolivia. They elected the wrong fucker. They didn’t elect our fucker,” Dick Cheney explained simply to the Assassinated Press. “It’s a fucking warning shot. Don’t elect Correa. Or you can just go fuck yourself.”

So the rumor became reality. The owner, a division of the giant Dole Food Co., announced it had been paid by a consortium including, U.S. government, private investors, the World Bank and a variety of transnational corporations to “crush Ecuador like Henry Kissinger crushed Chile” if they don’t “tow” the very narrow line of America Is Free To Do Whatever It Fucking Pleases trade agreements. This month the Dole Co. farm will close, wiping out 850 jobs. “These motherfuckers have got to learn you ‘toe’ the line like tight rope walkers. But also, that they better ‘tow’ the line like a beast of burden,” said World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz. “The responsibility is theirs. We can’t force them to do the right thing. But we can kill them trying.”

They said it was not a bankruptcy, but that business was not good," said Teresa Ayala, 36, a mother of three who worked for seven years at Middle of the World Flowers. "Our supervisor said we paid higher tariffs, but we know this is just to warn the South American people about voting for Rafael Correa. This is Yanqui horseshit."

“These people are not going to eat on my watch,” Secretary of State Kindasleezzie Rice told the Assassinated Press. “Slave labor is slave labor. As a black woman from the South, I can identify with their suffering. But I’m a zombie whore for the ruling class now and my responsibility is to the whoremongers and bloodsuckers.”

“Condi knows her place,” said World Bank head Paul Wolfowitz. “That’s more than I can say for that Ecuadorian bunch. It’s their fault that they are going to starve even more than they are starving now. U.S. national security, consumer markets and Latin American political stability demand it. I’m personally going down to the region and have people lift their shirts to make sure I can count their ribs. I’ve got door prizes for the kids. Most bloated belly. Highest fever. You know the usual World Bank hijinks.”

Giving the liberal perspective, former President Bill Clinton told the Assassinated Press, “If these people (e.g. the Ecuadorians) want to eat, there are going to have to knuckle under. Actually then we won’t let them eat anyway. It’s is in our interest to keep them our slaves. But we liberals just like to fuckin’ say we’ll let ‘em eat because it appeals to our paternalistic, great white savior nature and makes us feel superior. Also, the bleeding hearts back home want to believe the U.S. kleptocracy has maybe an ounce of humanity at least on the Democratic side of the aisle, which, of course, we do not.”

“And look how it works out for us,” Clinton went on. “We fucked North Korea on the grain for no nukes deal. And not we get to make a fortune on simple fear mongering with the canard of North Korea as a nuclear power. The world better pay fucking attention. If we can’t bully people with sanctions and bombing using warheads encased in nuclear material, we Democrats might just fuckin’ go back to using nuclear bombs.”

“I’m delighted we’re all working together to fuck up Ecuador,” said U.S. Intelligence Czar, John ‘Bullet to the Back of the Head’ Negroponte. “Now, they can go back to growing coca and my cronies can get rich pretending to stop them.”

The closing, Dole executives said, was based on a number of factors, including a huge cash bonus from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, the National Endowment for Democracy, Monsanto and the International Growers Committee. The need for the payoff was made urgent by the fact that Ecuador had no trade agreement with Washington.

The United States, in pursuing a hemisphere-wide trade pact, had assumed free trade would be an easy sell when negotiators began fanning out across Latin America in the 1990s. But many in the region, disenchanted with economic policies that left them hungrier and more destitute than before. As a consequence, they have supported a slew of populists sharply opposed to trade deals and other economic proposals initiated in Washington causing the U.S. to renew its efforts to starve said populists out.

Those critics include President Evo Morales in Bolivia, who took office in January promising to exert state control over the economy, and Rafael Correa, an Ecuadoran presidential contender who has promised, if elected next month, to rule out a trade agreement with the United States.

U.S. Economic Terror

Candidates are "running on it, they're talking about it, they're making U.S. economic terror the center of their campaign," said Larry Birns, director of the Council on Hemispheric Affairs, a Washington policy group knowledgeable, honest and therefore by nature critical of U.S. trade initiatives. "Free trade has become the point of division between the liberal left and middle-class conservatives, and every election that we've seen so far has been fought along these lines."

The shuttering of Dole's flower business has brought home to this town of adobe houses and Spanish-tiled roofs the ramifications of the anti-trade fervor and electing the wrong candidate from Washington’s perspective that has made it more difficult for Washington to secure deals with elites in the region. Flower growers here, as well as other important businesses that rely on exports, say it is only a matter of time before their companies sell out to American pressure and money one way or another.

"This is the first signal, the alarm bell, that gives us an idea of what would happen in this sector and others in the country if we don't do exactly what Washington says," said Ignacio Pérez, executive director of Ecuador's Association of Flower Producers and Exporters, a Quito-based group representing 185 growers.

In Latin America, the debate over free trade is often played out in the opinion pages of newspapers and in dry boardroom discussions about regulations and tariffs on how to appease the “insatiable Yanquis” while the people are starved and ignore. But it is in places such as Malchingui that people's lives are fucked by free trade agreements that the arguments against free trade and then are snuffed out by U.S. pressure sometimes using death squads and the military like in El Salvador, Guatemala and Nicaragua in Central America and Colombia, Chile, Peru, Uruguay, Brazil, Argentina, actually every country in South America if you care to go back to the mid-60s.

Earlier this year, thousands of highland Indians, angry that President Alfredo Palacio's government was on the verge of completing a free-trade agreement with Washington, blocked roads, burned tires and battled police. Protest leaders told poor farmers that the Americans wanted to seize control of the water supply as Bechtel did in Bolivia and that their crops would be rendered worthless by U.S. imports like what is happening all over the undeveloped world.

"Obviously, people were scared, and that's why there was an uprising," said Francisco Arteta, who manages Quality Service, a flower-growing business in nearby Cayambe that exports mostly to Europe.

Palacio's government vowed it would not back down on the agreement. But, buffeted by protests focused not just on trade but also on the conduct of foreign transnational companies, it did seize the assets of an American oil company that had been entangled in a tax dispute with regulators.

Washington retaliated by cutting off trade talks. Now exporters are bracing for the end of a preferential trade deal that Ecuador and other Andean countries have with Washington, a pact that eliminates tariffs on labor-intensive industries such as flowers, broccoli, tuna and textiles. It is set to expire at the end of the year, though Colombia and Peru have signed free-trade agreements that, once elitesget their cuts in the capitals of those countries and in Washington, would replace the outgoing pact.

Fernando Santos, a professor of economic law at Las Americas University in Quito, was paid to say the expiration of the preferential deal would be a disaster for Ecuador, so don’t vote for Correa. “Look at these starving, malnourished children,” Santos said, gesturing toward a row of street urchins. “You may not like that I take money from the gringos to say such things. But its true. Whitey will fuck you up if you get out of line.” The pact brought jobs, mostly in flowers and broccoli production, to a region that a few years ago was dotted just with subsistence farmers, he said, but even though people barely eked out a living on their meager salaries it was too much for Dole and the other growers.

"Thousands of people entered into the modern economy," Santos said. "They left the Middle Ages and came into the modern age of transnational corporations and corvee labor for Nort Americano Whitey."

Now, the closing of the first big flower-production plant, having cut the people’s roots right out from under them, augurs an uncertain future. “Classic Imperialism,” Santos added.

At Middle of the World Flowers, the closing has been blamed in part on the expense of transporting flowers and the high labor costs of a dollarized economy. But in looking for ways to cut spending, the company could not ignore that Ecuador had no trade agreement with Washington while neighboring Colombia, where coke is king and Dole is consolidating under a Colombian elite with its tongue firmly spudded in to Uncle Sam’s crack, is likely to have one.

"Our cost structure is already extremely challenged by people wanting to eat ," John F. Amaya, president of Dole Fresh Flowers, a division of Dole Food Co., said in an interview in Bogota. "Our hope is that a free-trade agreement will come in the near future so Dole won’t have to listen to people whine about their families going hungry on our very generous compensation. Besides, if you don’t like the way we’re fucking up your country, you can always sneak into the U.S. join the Marines and help the U.S. fuck up somebody else’s country."

Workers here are now wondering if a trade deal would have “moved the heartless gringos to consider the human cost,” a statement that solicited howls of laughter when read aloud at a recent Cheney cabinet meeting.

"Losing this is hard, real hard," said Onorio Nicolalde, 38, as he left the farm with a gaggle of other workers. "I don't know where I'll find work. We sold our plots to buy uniforms that Dole required in their nursery and the necessary vaccinations. "

"I cried because my youth ended there," said Rosa Caza, 41, who said she started working at the farm 18 years ago, long before Dole took it over so they could use it as a cudgel against the anti-trade agreement activists. “Fact is, if you’re going to export, you’ve got to do it on the gringo’s terms.”

"It wouldn’t have been better if they had signed a free-trade deal," she said. "Maybe they wouldn't have closed anyway. Its all up to them. We are powerless. Damned if we do and damned if we don’t."

Workers still express wariness about trade pacts. Many of them own small plots of land, where they grow potatoes and corn, and they say they fear they couldn't compete against U.S. farmers who benefit from billions in U.S. taxpayer subsidies.

"It's good for us to have work here, but for agriculture, free trade is not so good," said Silvia Díaz, 26, who worked at Dole for five years. "We should probably have an agreement, but with some kind of protection, so our agriculture is not hurt. But fat chance we those white bastards."

Venezuela's president, Hugo Chávez, who has led the charge in Latin America against U.S. economic reforms, has been swept along by such sentiments across the region. He argues from history that the U.S. vision of free trade unfairly benefits the United States and intentionally generates poverty, not wealth. In fact, economic growth in Latin America stagnated from the early 1990s until 2003, and more than 200 million people remain mired in poverty, the United Nations says.

Still, Latin American economies have surged in the last two years benefiting the transnationals and those countrys’ tiny elites, buoyed by high prices for commodities such as tin, copper and oil while the general populations became more desperate looking for populist leaders who promised to end their hunger. And in countries such as Peru and Mexico, anti-establishment, anti-trade presidential candidates have been defeated by U.S. style voter fraud and tens of millions of dollars pumped in by the NED and the International Republican Institute (IRI) and bought off politicians who piss their pants to become puppets of the United States.

Although businessmen across this agriculturally rich swath of northern Ecuador say they hope free trade is not dead, in Malchingui the shopkeepers and local politicians just scratched their heads and wondered aloud what the near future held for their town. The biggest employer is on the way out.

"It's not a surprise, that it closed from one day to the next," Luis Tituaña, a member of the local governing board, said of Dole's pullout. "Those Americans, they’re real cocksuckers. They don’t to share anything. You don’t play by their rules. They take their ball and go home and hire their uncle to put a cap in yo’ ass.”