The Assassinated Press

China Finds American Poetry Blogs Too Masturbatory:
Phony, Self-Absorbed Blogs Run Counter To Notions Of Human Dignity, Cooperation:
Chinese Doctors Find Blogs Put Workers To Sleep, Prescibed For Insomnia:
Poetry Blogs Designed To Weaken Character Of People:
Notion of Banned Blogs Belies Delusional Self-Absorption:

The Assassinated Press

A Comment by China's Head of the Ministry of Tourism Ubu Ra:

Beijing---Some in the West imply that China is blocking American poetry blogs on ideological grounds. But what is there to block aside from their emotional and intellectual onanism? Why is there no such resistance to such masturbatory activity in the West? It is not permissiveness. No attention is paid at all? American poets are self-absorbed consumer fops with minor league ambitions driven by unexpressed major league Imperial hopes just like their fellow countrymen and that's about all they have to tell us.

Our concern is not for our people but for our livestock. For example, cattle exposed to American poetry blogs cannot breed. Hens that are exposed to such mind-numbing drivel, lay no fertilized eggs. In the barnyard as in their own realm of letters, American poets promote sterililty.

Even when they speak on behalf of someone else they must stroke the tune on the own cob. Their most whimsical connection becomes the center of the controversy.