The Assassinated Press

Maj. Gen. Daniel P. Bolger, Commander of the Baghdad Division Wins the Coveted Ass. Press Major General Smedley Butler ‘RACKETEER FOR CAPITALISM Award’ for his recent ahistorical and utterly moronic remarks on Iraq.
General's Cogent Lunacy Mirrors Media.

The Assassinated Press in Conjunction with Fly on the Wall Media

General Bolger is not happy with his new role as standby imperialist stooge. Fuck giving Iraqis control over their own security. The general knows as well as anybody over the age of four that the U.S. is in Iraq to steal its oil and that among American kleptocrats that mission is still seen as viable like bundling debt and selling the same debt 50 times over--that kind of fuck the taxpayer viable.

It therefore should surprise no one that General Bolger suffers from that imperialist senility known as ‘ahistorical rationalism’ where historical memory counts for nothing. Where Santayana’s just another defeatist pussy.

‘Ahistorical rationalism’ is a form of institutional alzheimer’s brought on be greed and avarice. Unfortunately for mankind scientists have determined that the area of the American kleptocratic brain that controls greed and avarice is non-existent. In fact in the career American kleptocrat the entire brain is geared toward uncontrolled appetite like you find in crocodiles, piranhas and tape worms.

With individuals like Gen. Bolger assertions on the surface appear rational but upon the slightest scrutiny reveal themselves as just more insane and inane steaming piles of useless shit. And imagine, Bolger is just a stooge, a racketeer for capitalism, an enforcer for the kleptocracy, a junk yard dog and still he suffers from the alzheimer’s like symptoms of ahistorical rationalism. What a putz.

Yesterday General Bolger noted in an email: "Our [Iraqi] partners burn our fuel, drive roads cleared by our Engineers, live in bases built with our money, operate vehicles fixed with our parts, eat food paid for by our contracts, watch our [surveillance] video feeds, serve citizens with our [funds], and benefit from our air cover." Let’s dissect the general’s Alzheimer’s like statement bearing in mind that this is the tool that Uncle Slimey has in the field right now.

1) ‘Our [Iraqi] partners burn our fuel’

This cowpie of a statement ignores the fact that years of embargo and sanctions and two invasions, the first by bombing, destroyed Iraq’s oil producing and refining capabilities not to mention the hard currency and international loans necessary to maintain and increase production.

2) ‘[D]rive roads cleared by our Engineers’

Yeah you dumb fuck, after another set of engineers prepared the bombers that U.S. and British pilots then fucking flew and destroyed those fucking roads, asshole.

3) ‘[L]ive in bases built with our money”

Once again after you bombed the infrastructure of the entire fucking country, you want to whine about housing that fucking lying, cheating, asshole outsource American companies like Halliburton, Bechtel and Fluor built using substandard fucking materials, so fucking substandard that your own fucking men are dying in the showers like in some bizarre Nazi experiment. And you by your imperialist bombing and slaughter made yourself hated by the populace, so hated and understandably so that anyone who collaborated with you was in danger of having their throat cut so that they had to bunk with you. Faggot please.

4) ‘[O]perate vehicles fixed with our parts”

Yeah, douche bag. After the U.S. twice destroyed Iraqi forces including U.S. and British supplied fighter jets and U.S. supplied weapons including poison gas, truck and tanks. For a clear and concise explanation of this in easily understood ‘historical’ terms see comedian Bill Hicks’ ‘Jack Palance in Shane’ bit, shithead.

5) ‘[E]at food paid for by our contracts’

Once again, the U.S invasion crippled Iraqi food production. The kindest estimate is by one third, but of course that comes from other stooges of the kleptocracy, nitwit.

6) ‘[W]atch our [surveillance] video feeds’

Ah, the old 1984 defense. The Iraqis could have had the same shit under Saddam without having their whole fucking country destroyed. Why don’t’ you save the surveillance for the U.S. where the citizenry likes it because its couched in neotonous baby names like ‘Googoo-gull' and ‘I’m a Twit-ter.’

7) ‘[S]erve citizens with our [funds]’

After you destroyed their livelihoods and in many cases, their lives, you dumb cocksucker.

8) ‘[B]enefit from our air cover’

They wouldn’t even fucking need air cover if you and the rest of the 300,000 private and public imperialist-stooge, economic draftees had stayed the fuck home and worked on straightening out the corrupt kleptocracy that has brought your own fucking citizenry to its knees. Not that the humor and irony of the American people getting whacked by the very kleptocracy they serve and adore doesn’t have its humorous side.

So we have Major General Bloger(sic), today’s ‘RACKETEER FOR CAPITALISM.’